Friday, October 23, 2009

Faithfully patient

Patience (noun) capacity for waiting, the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties

As I sat on a bench a few Saturdays ago waiting for LJN to pick me up from the mall. It caught me off guard how relaxed and patient I was at having to sit there and wait. A situation like this in the past would have left me all out of sorts with myself and everyone else, pretty sad but very true.

The truth of the matter is that I have never been very good at waiting for anything. I don’t have a patient bone in my body. And I have secretly admired people who have exhibited a great deal of patience. You have heard people talking about how he or she is such a patient person and the fact that some people have it and some people just don’t have it, as if patience was something you were born with like brown eyes or bluish green eyes.

I have always been very hard on myself for my tremendous lack of patience, a character flaw which I worked hard at changing but failed at many times. It wasn’t until I became sick that I finally became a “patient” person. Through the numerous doctor appointments, blood test, brain MRI’s, arguments, anger, fear, frustration and finally as the reality of my illness became clearer… patience emerged.

My illness has tested my new found patience at various times and places along this journey. I began to believe that being patient about my illness wasn’t doing me any good. I soon realized that these doubts had surfaced because I stopped trusting in and believing in the virtue of patience. I asked myself why did I stop trusting in being patient, what had happened to the new “patient” Trish? It hit me one day after my devotional reading, what was missing was… my faith. Through my daily devotional readings I was reminded that I could rest in God’s hands, that he would never leave me nor forsake me. And I now know that I also must become faithfully patient.


[God] Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5

Tune your anxious heart to patience,
Walk by faith where sight is dim;
Loving God, be calm and trustful
And leave everything to Him. – Chambers

2 Corinthians 5:7 KJV
For we walk by faith, not by sight

No comments: